A letter

Archive for the ‘Welcomed Fall’ Category

To-do and not-to-do lists.

In Welcomed Fall on November 18, 2015 at 10:57 pm


To do lists should be created to help us live our lives, not to run them. This is often forgotten by my neat-freak perfectionistic selfespecially lately. Please send me a postcard to help me remember: Living is the goal, not the list! If you’ve wondered where I disappeared to the last month and a half, now you know. I’ve been trying to figure our how to live in this new and awesome chapter of life where EVERYTHING is different.

I don’t think there has been one day since moving that I felt caught up! I feel like my to do list has been ever-growing and though the days pass, I’m not exactly sure what took place. Much of this can be blamed the two small lads that roam, the copious amount of naps I’ve needed to take while growing a human, and on Davids new work scheduleand I mean “blamed” in the happiest sense. We actually see David every day for more than an hour or two. You have no idea how wonderful this is, but I’m sure you can imagine. He often joins us for lunch or dinner and frequently gets to work from home. We’ve had dinner parties, watched tons of movies and sporadically taken road trips just because we could. I find it odd though that none of these things were on my check-list. I’ve been realizing there are things in life that cannot be check-listed. Sure, lists can help us be organized and can help us not forget things at the store like half and half, which would be a small but major tragedy. However, much of life’s gold we really crave cannot be put on a list or checked off.

You know how I thrive on check lists and organization, and the feeling of accomplishment those things bring. And, these traits, thanks to my mother, are a wonderful asset in life. At times though, when throned or imbalanced, they clutter the happiness and contentment of my heart.

Loving husbands and children are not tasks we can or should complete by dusk, but the adventure and the essence of our lives. If the sheets are THAT dirty I will change them, even if I didn’t write it down somewhere. I’m sure I will eventually unload and reload the dishwasher when I have no clean dishes to use. These things have a way of reminding you themselves that they need to be done. Sometimes what I need is to be freed from the list I’ve made for myself. The list that is so rigid and dictates so much. The list that can leave me feeling like a failure of a wife or mom at the end of the day. The list that doesn’t account for moments, conversations, or random hot chocolate dates. The list that measures so much but leaves me so empty.

I’m realizing the things that I really care about in life, can’t be put on a checklist and never should be.

Love you friend.

Bep


Breathing space and a Top Ramen baby.

In Welcomed Fall on October 1, 2015 at 11:15 pm



I feel like the last week has been one giant sigh of relief. We are moved. I am done packing. We love our new place. Did I mention that I don’t have to pack any more? Relief. I’m not sure we knew it was possible to love a place so much, or to feel at home as quickly as we do. It feels this space was made just for us. As you know, I’ve always loved books with big blank margins. I love the thinking space it provides. Well, this place is similar, but it has breathing space found in 14′ foot ceilings and magnificent 8′ foot windows. But even more than natural breathing space is the space we feel in our souls as this season has changed.

Everything has shiftedeverything. How a season that seemed to linger for ages can change so quickly is a mystery. It only seems explainable by His writing of our life’s story. Never have we craved and needed change so much, and never have we watched our world shift so drastically in such a short period of time. Work has come flooding in, friends have appeared out of nowhere, joy and peace greet us in the morning, where only dread and worry seemed to dwell before. Our souls have room to breathe again and it feels so dang good. There is however one thing that has marked this change of season for us more than anything else and I can hardly believe it’s real: In early April there will be five of us. We’re having a baby!

Yes, you heard me correctly. I still can’t believe it’s real. We’re having a baby. There is nothing quite like finding out you have to move and finding out you’re having a baby in the same week. But nothing screams blessing over a new chapter of life more than finding out you’re having a squishy little cuddly baby. Leon was my burger baby, Sol my baked-potato-with-the-works-baby, and so far, this one is my Top Ramen baby. Maybe it means it’s a little lady…EEEK! Hopefully my Top Ramen cravings aren’t an indicator of the baby’s overall palate because we will have some serious work to do if so. For now, I crave it, it tastes so stinking good, and anything that tastes good is a win.

To say I am thankful is an overwhelming understatement. I am in awe of His timing and His crafting of our story. I’m thankful that He is the author. He writes a far better story that me. And, it’s really true that winters can’t last forever. Seasons always change, and ours has just changed in every sort of wonderful way.

Love you dearly,

Bep


  

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