A letter

Archive for January, 2013|Monthly archive page

More than a 1000….

In Uncategorized, Year 2 on January 16, 2013 at 9:43 pm

As I begin writing on this blank page, I briefly think of all the things I must tell you that filled our lives since I last wrote.  Instead my heart presses me to write what is going on in the here and now.  This here and now moment.  Bonte’, Al and I started reading 1000 Gifts on January 1st.  I know, it sounds so poetic to begin the new year with such a task.      But, poetic or not, the deep, hidden places of my heart have been exposed and I have spent several nights with a tear streaked face, reading until the wee hours of the morning.  I’m already sad that this book might end, but only because I don’t want its content to leave me. I want it to be part of me.  I‘ve been terrible at seizing the moment this last year.  Thus the reason for the tears flowing freely.  She states many times in many ways, that life is not an emergency.  It has been for me.  I have been a gold medalist in finishing the meaningless tasks of dishes or laundry.  I’ve mastered putting the last out-of-sort item in place at the end of the day so the house is in its perfect state.  I have also missed a hug or two from my dear sweet Sol, and not told Leon a story he is dying to hear telling them, “mommy is working right now”.  But what is all this working for if not for them?  Do they care if the house is perfect?  Do they care if the dishes are clean?  She states so perfectly and yet with such precision that it cuts me to the core. “Haste makes life waste”.  I don’t want to live my life in waste anymore.  I don’t want to wish away the moments that are the very reason I am living for. Then her words pierce me even more when I read the following: “To read His message in moments, I’ll need to read His passion on the page; wear the lens of the Word to read His writing in the world.  Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because the Word has nail -scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, “I know. I know.”  The passion on the page is a Person, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and knows pain.  How does the Word read the world?” In this journey I find myself in, I am taking a moment to pause, many times, and be thankful for what I have.  I am praying not to miss moments right in front of me seemingly blocked by messes and stresses that don’t matter at all.  I am going to fully live this year of 2013.  I am going to fully live.

Love you dearly,

Bep

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