A letter

Archive for October, 2012|Monthly archive page

A Hurricane of Events…

In Year 2 on October 28, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I am sitting here braving the “hurricane” (storm) Sandy.  By braving, I mean I am sitting in much too warm a house, in a tanktop and jeans, watching the trees blow and the rain come down while drinking an iced, (sadly) eggnog Via latte and writing you.  If there wasn’t all this hype about this “Frankenstorm” broadcasted, we’d be outside with the kids jumping in puddles.  I love a good storm, and did just walk to the mail box.  I survived unscathed.  I did prepare for it though.  We have 4 candles to be exact, 250 matches, 2 cases of water, 2 jars of peanut butter, 8 cans of pears, one box of granola bars and two charged batteries for our industrial flashlight.  Bring it Sandy, bring it!!!

I wish it were as easy to brave life’s storms.  The bummer about life’s storms is, they are not broadcasted, you have no way to prepare and often they last longer than you at first expected.  That is sort of how these last 10 weeks have been for me.  As I mentioned in my last letter, I have been battling headaches since August 19th, to be exact.  I feel like the last weeks have been an attempt at baking, without a recipe.  It’s not as if  this is the first time I have battled headaches.  We had a pretty great recipe figured out before and within a few weeks, I was back to my good ol’ self.  Unfortunately this time, being in a new city, without doctors, was as if life snatched my recipe for recovery and tore it to pieces.  I found a doctor, whom I love and am thankful for.  She took a lot of time with me to fully understand my history and sent me on my way to physical therapy.  I couldn’t hav e been more ready to see a physical therapist after 5 weeks of headaches than I was, and couldn’t have been more frustrated leaving.  It was a strange office and their PT practices were different than any I had been to before.  There were no private rooms, and soon found out, no massage, at all!  After two visits I decided I would switch to a different practice to look for proper care.  Frustratingly, that was THE only PT office covered by our insurance.  I was so deflated.  I was exhausted from being in constant pain for 5 weeks and just wanted to feel normal.  I had already seen chiropractors, been prescribed 2 meds that didn’t work and been doing neck release exercises daily.  After week 7, my doctor decided to send me to a neurologist.  I had prayed God would give me a thorough doctor, and was thankful for her tenacity in treating me and her search for answers for me.  I was also terrified to be going to a neurologist.  I had normally been better by now, and I had not had any relief as of yet.  We kept wondering if PT would have been better, if I would have been well already.  The day I went to the Neurologist, I found an envelope on my door mat.  Inside there was a letter full of encouragement, scripture and two hundred dollars cash.  I was overwhelmed.  Insurance had been covering PT, but not massage, thus the frustration that they wouldn’t do massage as a part of treatment.  God is so faithful.  I immediately started searching for a massage therapist.  After 3 massages in about 8 days time, I had 6 days without a headache.  I felt like a million bucks.  Since it has been up and down, and up and down, but progressively getting better.  PRAISE GOD who answers us and is faithful.

A few months back, we all went to the dentist.  I found out, I have 4 cavities in my wisdom teeth, which had already all grown in.  I have only had one cavity in my entire life and couldn’t believe that this were the case.  My dentist suggested having them out.  David (also cavity ridden) and I were both planning on having ours out in December during Christmas break so we could take turns caring for our boys.  Our plans changed when in two weeks time, several friends who had been praying for me mentioned that they had heard having wisdom teeth out could help with headache battles.  Strange!  After some research, it proved that it could be true.  Fall break was just around the corner, and we figured if I could get in now instead of then, and there was a potential of it helping, then why not.  So, I had a consult last Monday, and had my teeth out on Thursday.  This was something I have vowed never to do, and here I was, getting my teeth out.  I’m so glad I didn’t have much more time between the consult and the surgery to dream of teeth extractions.  I survived and 10 days later I am finally feeling almost normal.  Only time will tell if it will help, I’m praying it does.  I do know, that the last 2 days I have felt the best I have felt in 10 weeks.  I know for sure this is true when both bathrooms are clean, laundry is caught up, our bedroom  and closet are organized and curtains are hung.  I cannot properly explain what this feels like.  It’s a kind of happy I haven’t felt in a while.

Through it all,  God is teaching me about having grace for myself.  You know, it isn’t my easiest feat in life to do so.  I’m learning not to evaluate life when in chronic pain.  I’m learning to let the house be messy and have a peaceful heart at the same time.  I’m learning to lean on others. I am so thankful for all my girls who have watched my kids on many occasions, prayed for me, encouraged me and been there for me through this all.  A page is turning and I am thanking God for his goodness to me. Learning to have grace for myself was sort of forced this last week when I had my teeth out and I watched the entirety of both seasons of Downton Abbey.  My heart will never be the same and I will be waiting on pins and needles for the next season to start.  Grace is wonderful!

The boys are about as cute as can be.  Sol is trying to communicate with everything in his being.  We finally can understand some things he is saying.  When we repeat what he says, asking if it is right and it is, he responds with a “yeee—-aaaaahhhh”, full of the biggest smile and loads of enthusiastic emotion.  I just want to squish him all day long.  Leon is growing like a week and looking like a real boy instead of  a chubby toddler.  He sneaks into bed with us almost every night.  He’s too adorable to resist and I think he misses his dad.  Anytime it’s remotely cold, at least to him, he thinks Christmas must be coming (as in tomorrow or the next day).  Two things, one, he has no idea what cold is, and two, Christmas is going to feel like years of waiting to his almost 4 year old mind.

I have fallen into selling shoes and other items on Ebay.  I have various sources which include my love of thrifting.  It’s been a supper fun hobby and is a wonderful use of time while David finishes school.  If you ever want to browse, our ebay seller name is Engelhardtswin. You can blame David for that one, but I do agree with the name.  We do win!

David is powering through this semester with incredible strength and stamina.  He’s been amazing through the last few months and I know with me being pain ridden it wasn’t exactly an easy time.  He has also been sick 3 times, and I mean SICK.  He is currently weathering 2 storms; one, a huge paper that is due Monday, and this crazy Sandy.  It’s been a crazy few months on all fronts.  We have weathered it though, and are ready for this next season.

I cannot wait for sweater, scarf, and boot weather.  I pray it comes soon. I do have Christmas candles out and hope that helps with my holiday mood.  I miss you friend.  Sorry it’s been so long since I have written.  I promise it won’t be this way forever.  Love you so much.

Bep








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