A letter

Archive for September, 2012|Monthly archive page

Mountains and valleys…

In Year 2 on September 13, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Well friend, if I don’t sit down now to write you, I may never catch you up. Even if I do sit down now, which I am, you may not feel caught up completely, but at least you will feel clued in a bit.

Life this summer was like a pressure cooker. And we were the items being cooked. David’s summer schooling and simultaneous internship, followed by another internship were not exactly the break and breather we had in mind.  Thus far, I am not sure the words break, breather and law school can be in the same sentence without an argument.  I did survive my first whole summer in Virginia Beach and it was survival.  When I walked out at 7:40 to bring David to school the other day and 60 degree air kissed my face, I felt as if a piece of heaven dropped down to earth just for me.  As you know, heat and humidity are not friends of Finish people, and particularly not fond of my Finish skin.

The past few months physically have been difficult to say the least.  My hands flared up the worst they had ever been since being married.  I kept recalling Pastor Bob’s sermon on leaning.  The words,  “His rod and His staff, they comfort me” rolled through my head daily.  It was a time when all I could do was lean on Him, and family and friends.  Through a the power of God and a crazy series of events, my blistered, and cracked hands improved 50% in two weeks time while not on any medication.  This was a first time EVER this has happened in my life.   Our God is truly miraculous.  My healing process started during my 6 weeks wait to get into a dermatologist.  God’s timing is perfect.  The last two weeks before my appointment I discovered three things that can help heal my condition.  In all my twelve years of dealing with this same skin issue, I had never heard about any of them.  I am still amazed by this.  I also had been praying for a dermatologist who would be aggressive in treatment.  God answered my prayer.  This last month, I have watched my hands be restored.  I find myself constantly rubbing my hands together feeling their smooth skin.  For the first time in 8 years, I have almost normal hands!  You have no idea what a relief that is.  I cannot fully express it!

We had a wonderful two weeks together as a family doing hardly anything at all before fall semester started.   It was needed in ways we were not even aware of.  I’m pretty sure we napped every day but one, those two weeks.  All our feelings of angst and weariness slowly melted away and we felt peace settle in for the first time in a long while.  I felt God gave us the refreshing we had been craving when we moved last spring.  It was the first chance we really had to fully let down since Sol got sick last April.  I had grace to let the house go wild.  And by wild, I mean WILD.  You may not have recognized our abode those few weeks.  I didn’t recognize it.  I somehow let myself run wild too and didn’t really care.  When I went to clean the bathroom after school started, I realized fully just how carefree I really was those few weeks.  Unfortunately, the house didn’t have any pity on me, and remained in its state,  un-bothered  until I got motivated again.  I’m still catching up and it’s 3 weeks later.

Before I say what I am going to say next, I need to say the enemy is one large, giant poop!  The day before David started school, I woke up with a severe headache and I have had a headache almost daily since then.  It has been discouraging to say the least, and debilitating at times.  I tell you what, I am going to have some hefty leg muscles climbing all these mountains, and keep thinking of all the scriptures that talk about standing firm etc.  I found myself in the same situation, not having seen a doctor since moving here, a new patient.  Being a new patient, it takes weeks to get in to see a doctor.  Thankfully in my waiting period, my friend Kayla graciously worked on my neck multiple times trying to get my muscles to give up.  She was a life saver, and a huge help in halting the snowball effect of a tension headache cycle.  I finally was able to see the doctor and began physical therapy this week.  I feel blessed that our insurance covers PT, and am attempting to look on the bright side.  The bright side is, we live in a country with resources such as physical therapy.  I have a car with wich to drive to PT.  I have kind and loving friends who are watching my children several times a week for me while I go to PT.  I have muscle relaxers, newly prescribed headache medicine, and a brand new neck pillow my parents just sent me in the mail.  God is faithful. He is strong.  His resurrection power, that raised my Jesus from the grave, lives inside of me.  I am being healed, and my faith is strong. Though some days I feel weak, I know who I am leaning on.  His history is unmatched.  He’s never been late before.  He is just on time.  His stripes were enough for my healing.  And, until it comes I will wait.

In my waiting, I have an amazing husband, who is rocking his 2nd year of law school and the most adorable boys ever.  They would absolutely crack you up.  Sol walks around saying “Hulk smeeaaaash”, in the most nasal, nose pinching way, while pounding the floor.  Leon is constantly wondering about who he or other various people will marry. His first choice is always, me, and second Aunt Bonte.  Once those are rulled out, a girl teacher is the next in line.  I love how his brain works.  The other day I told him I loved him to pieces.  He responded by saying, “I love you to weapons”.  For him, especially now, I think that might be the biggest love he can offer, as weapons are of utmost importance to him.  It’s a good reminder of how I want to love Jesus.

There…you feel caught up? I don’t.  I feel there are a thousand more things I need to tell you, but my eyes are slowly shutting.  I’ll try to write more soon. I miss you.  I wish you were here to wake up super early with me tomorrow.  Then we could sip on a cup of coffee before groaning through my pilates class together.  Maybe one day. To fitness and beyond…

Love you, Bep

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