A letter

Archive for April, 2012|Monthly archive page

thick glasses…

In Home in Virginia on April 15, 2012 at 6:09 pm

I swear, on somedays, much like today, or in weeks like this week, that someone put an invisible pair of thickly lensed glasses on me. These thick glasses make everything look crazy, up close, and glaring.  Either that, or it’s just that somedays in law school I feel like I was prescribed the wrong prescription, so-to-speak. Today, was one of those days.  Unfortunately, for me, during these seemingly wrong prescription days or weeks, I see so poorly, that I often decide it would also be good, to take an up close look and evaluation of our life. The result of these up close evaluations are always terrible and the outcomes quite untrue though they may seem very true in the moment.  So, I am taking a break from evaluating and about to watch Celebrity Apprentice. Hallelujah!!!  But since I have an hour, I thought I would write.  This week has been rough.  Molly left Monday, and my daily buddy, Jamie, moved away Tuesday night. I am still in denial that she is gone and am secretly hoping for her van to pull up and for her to knock on my door hoping to use my toaster.  I think she is probably wishing I was knocking on her door to fetch her for a power walk or to borrow half and half.  I know for sure we both could use a strong cup of coffee and a 20 min chat.  Unfortunately, this is one of the parts of law school I must embrace. With out her, I would not have made it through my first year of law school. Though upon first meeting her, I wrote her off the second I heard she was a 3L, it wasn’t long before we were like old chums.  Enough about that,  here was a glance into my day.  Bringing David to church at 7 to do sound, then bringing the boys back home to get them ready for church, and back to church by 9.  Lunch, nap prep, nap and attempted nap.  My nap consisted of almost dozing into heavy HEAVY nap sleep, multiple times, but being disrupted by #1 son throwing shoes (in the closet in our room where his mattress lies for nap time), coming out to show me boogers, coming out to get water, and such, and such, and such. Not forgetting many swift swats on the buns with a wooden spoon.  Finally, scheming how to get a wink or two, I decided to fetch the shoe thrower, and let him watch Despicable Me, and eat a snack.  (to which later today, he kept telling us, he never gets his way, and that Sol gets his way).  After a stern talking to about sitting still and not being loud so that Sol would stay sleeping, I was off to my bed. As I lay in my comfy bed, I heard in the distant living room, much crinkling of something.  I kept telling myself, I didn’t care, but was not sleeping to such a “peaceful” sound.  Storming out of my bedroom, I come to find, his entire bowl of “snack”, cereal and pretzel chips nicely strewn about the entire living room and his mouth stuffed with, for the second time this week, jelly beans.  Why I tried to sleep again, I am not sure.  It was a bad idea.  Then he came running in in his “inside voice”, which is just as loud as his other voices, wanting to play outside.  This “inside voice” was just loud enough to wake sleeping brother. Just my luck.  Now it was a party.  Taking many a deep breaths I continued to do my motherly tasks which included changing a poop. Whilst changing a poop I notice leon has destroyed my straw to my Starbuck’s re-useable water cup.  I then proceed to throw Sol’s diaper away, and come back to find Leon covered, well at least one foot and shoe, and most of the floor underneath him in my brand new tube of Boudreaux’s Butt paste.  That stuff is amazing by the way.  It really does keep the water out, which made trying to clean up the mess real interesting.  Never thought a spill on a rug could look so new and white!  Then while laying on the ground throwing a small kicking fit, (Leon, not me) he proceeded to kick Sol square in the nose.  Like I said, it was a party!  Wish you could have come.  That was it, I was taking a walk, with earphones on.  So off we went in the 80 degree weather.  I’m not sure if my children were talking, screaming, or sitting quietly on this walk, I couldn’t hear them.  (sorry village friends)  I popped an earphone out every once in a while, just to ensure no one was choking or such.  Then, dinner made and husband home (hallelujah) for a tince.  And, because I have such a wonderful husband, he sent me on my way for one hour alone, out of the house.  Who knew an hour could make one so sane?  I did not.  If I would have known, I would have had a yard sale and hired a sitter much earlier in this crazy week.  This one hour was enough to inspire me to clean my tornado-ed house!  And, it was enough to help me realize that now is not the time to evaluate life.  Finals is upon us.  Our life is insane for the next 2 weeks.  And somehow, this hour made me even have perspective that, though our brand new popsicle molds fell out of the freezer after dinner and 2 cracked, that we still can use the other 4.  That my friend is perspective.  At least for me it is. That is the glass going from empty to at least part full.  I will make it, I will endure.  We are almost through year #1.  Again, hallelujah! I miss you so, much more than you know.

A little saner, than before,

Bep


 

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