A letter

Archive for September, 2011|Monthly archive page

If the suit fits, wear it…

In Landing on September 28, 2011 at 11:55 am

I had one of those moments when life is put in perspective.  In those moments I always wish this new found perspective had come sooner.  Its as if someone takes you up above the clouds.  It’s in that up above place when things that seemed so heavy suddenly feel lighter and things that seemed enormous suddenly feel tiny.  It was Regent’s 25 year anniversary of the Law School this month.  They hosted a 600 + person dinner in honor of the anniversary with keynote speaker, Justice Samuel Alito. I should have been excited to hear such a great man speak, but honestly, I was more excited to get fancied up and go out on the town, alone, with my man.  While he was speaking, it was as if the world stood still for me and I realized just how great a man I am married to, how humbling it is to be called on such a journey, and maybe, for the first time in a while, excited for what the future holds, not only for David, but for me.  I think the past few months have, if gently put, bogged me down.  In the midst of some of the hardest months of my life, I had most definitely lost sight of the bigger picture. My heart has been in a mess, and in such a mess that I felt I might never see clearly why we are here.  Thankfully, I think I caught a much needed glimpse of why we are here.  It’s not merely a good idea, or a bad idea, or ants in our pants that put us here in this place called Virginia Beach, but the hand of Almighty God.  I know David will be used to do great things.  What exactly I do not know.  But this I do know, things will be altered, lives will be changed, people will be defended, and justice will be preserved.  That is why we are here.  For now it might look like a mountain with things I may or may not be ready to face.  But in light of eternity, it’s only a moment here.  I was reminded of that again later this week in a Law Wives bible study. ( A Study in which I sat through as an absolute mess inside listening to ladies that seem in a whole class above me, full of grace for the season at hand.  But that is a different story altogether).  I will just say again the revelation I am letting sink in: In light of Eternity, this season is but a moment.  And, if the suit fits, in our case, we should wear it.

With contemplation,


Clotted cream…

In Landing, Uncategorized on September 22, 2011 at 7:48 am

Molly has been in town for 2 full days and 1 late night and it feels like she’s been here forever.  Forever is a very good thing in this case. If you were to look at the sides of my arms and legs you would know she has been here from the many bruises that have appeared.  Many a side jabs and pinches are a part of any, and I repeat ANY little excitement in life, for Molly. So glad she is here. I have eaten far too many sweets (again I will blame this on Mols) while she has been here, and I really don’t care.  We have worked out enough to compensate for the goodies, I think.  We made scones with clotted cream.  If you wonder what that is, it is very much what the name suggests.  Something deliciously good that probably clots something it’s not supposed to and full of creamy goodness.  Thank God for its invention somewhere in England. As we always say,” sometimes you have to say poop, and do what you want”.  In this case eating too many scones is our “do what we want”.  Speaking of poop.  We were all loaded up ready to head out of the house the other day.  It’s quite a walk to the car from our apartment, so we (meaning me, Leon’s not quite at the state of helping yet, unless of course you count the fact I don’t have to carry him to the car as well, as helping) normally bring as much as possible at once so as to avoid multiple trips.  In this case, I had diaper bags, Solie, Duggle, was pushing a stroller, and had a large bag of poop filled diapers.  Leon matter-of-factly said, “Are we bringing our poop with us?” Good question.  I answered a big “No”, and tried to explain that we were simply disposing of it.  The unfortunate part, while contemplating that question is, I have come to realize I most often do bring my poop with me.  Funny how kids make you think of these stare-you-in-the face things in life.  I don’t want to be someone that carries around the poop in life

.  I don’t want to harbor offenses, let little things ruin my day, let nonsensical things become far too important, or simply wear myself out with the weight of things I am not supposed to carry.  I have been carrying around too much of this so called “poop”.  Stopping and smelling the roses so quickly can become something you once did.  When is the last time I have done so?  Not exactly sure.  My problem is upon realizing this hard truth, that I again, rather than identifying and letting go, add one more frustration to the sack and carry it around for a while.  I wish it were easier said than done, this so called process of de-poopifying ones life.  I have decided to start focusing on the “done” part of this equation and allow God to help me loose my grip on the not so pleasant things in life.  This adjustment into law school has been an eternity of a 5 week stretch.  But, none the less, we are 5 weeks in and I am still breathing, still enjoying life to a certain level and beginning to love some things about Virginia Beach.  There are still many things I do not love, but that is the poop sack I will do my best to dispose of for now.  One day, I will again live somewhere with an edged lawn.  Until then, I will learn to look at jagged, grass grown sidewalks, and smile.



a jiggle bed and a hair cut…

In Landing on September 6, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I forgot to tell you several funny stories. Story One: I was trying to take a nap the other day.  David had just left for school, after lunch, and both boys had fallen asleep at the same time.  A complete novelty around here.  It was my chance to nap, also a novelty around here.  I was in heaven.  I hadn’t been laying down more than 15 min when I was slowly shaken from my almost dreamlike state.  In a not so coherent state, I was very out of sorts.  “Had David snuck back in to play a trick on me?” I thought to myself.  He didn’t seem in the mood to be playing a trick, but what else could it be.  I sat up slowly, looked around the bed, but did not find David on hands and knees shaking the bed.  “It must be the neighbors washer, off kilter”, was my next logical thought. Then I reminded myself that their washer isn’t in the master bedroom upstairs.  Well, whatever it was, I was now awake.  Oh well, my glorious nap of fifteen minutes was now over.  On to the next thing.  Soon my phone rang.  “Did I feel the earthquake?” I heard myself repeat.  “Yes, yes I did, I guess”.  Ha!  I should have thought of that. Earthquake Shmirkquake!

Story Two: I was greeted by my dear husband the other day telling me that a classmate of his was coming over for a hair cut on Sunday at 5pm.  Now, I do cut hair as you know, and have cut quite a few hairs for being a un-trained snipper.  Having said that, guy hair cuts are a rarity and something reserved for someone I know quite well.  Not only must I know them quite well, but this individual must also meet the criteria of being someone whose life would not be ruined, if a hair cut were to go awry.  This so called classmate didn’t meet either of these criteria. David thought it was an easy way to earn some extra money and for a half an hours time, no big deal.  O Joy.   David convinced me that he was not a picky guy and that I would do a great job.  I was not so sure of this.  Let me preface, that our clippers, are as dull as a plastic disposable knife and successfully cut 3 hairs at a time.  When my “client” walked in with a head of THICK dark hair I knew I was in for it.  He was from “Luhl Vuhl” Kentucky.  What I have always pronounced, Louisville.  He was a southerner for sure.  He let me know he used to get a “high and tight”, (I just nodded, assuming that meant a military cut) but that he was thinking of maybe a 4 for now on the sides and in the back.  To sum the story up, my poor “client” was sweating to death under my old sheet drapery, complete with a clothes pin clasp.  Poor client.  This 1/2 hour cut turned into an hour and ten minute cut, the entire head, might I add, (a 4 on the back and sides, to remind you) by hand, due to our clippers failing their function.  I was nervous as can be.  He said he liked the hair cut, but we don’t know him at all.  He may have just been giving Southern compliments.  It’s hard to tell.  I guess we will find out if he really liked it when he asks for a hair cut again. I may not oblige anyhow, we will see.  I do get to go to coffee a few times this week, which is wonderful, and I have successfully (fingers crossed) given the most difficult hair cut I have ever given up to this point.  Phew.  David is rethinking his eager volunteering of my hair cutting skills.  He is realizing that his time is precious and that the hour and ten minutes of children watching whilst I was giving the hair cut, is a lot of study time that he waved goodbye to.  I am re-thinking getting new clippers.  Both are good thoughts.

You have to smile,


A storm is a brewin’…

In Landing on September 3, 2011 at 2:05 pm

I am exploding with things to tell you.  I don’t even know where to start it’s been so long.  I guess I will just begin.  The first, marked exactly one month since we got the keys to our new home now.  Still strange to call this home.  It definitely feels as though we live here, but I am not sure it feels like a real home yet.  It has been nice to come back to the same place and begin some sort of routine again.  We were finally starting to feel settled when Irene hit.  We quickly moved to un-settling our house shortly after.  My lack of news watching or reading combined with David’s all consuming-new school load, meant we were totally in the dark.  I was at Sam’s club with a a friend and she was recommending I get stocked up.  “Stocked up for what” I thought. Come to find out they were saying on some news channels to get a weeks worth of water and food for your family just in case.  Unprepared were we to say the least.  The thought of braving a 12-15 hour storm, that could or could not be INSANE, most likely with loss of power, with 2 babies, one flashlight, and a pitiful pantry of non-perishable foods sounded like our last choice option for Irene.  Going to Bonte’ and Lee’s? definitely, at the top of our list.  We stacked almost anything we could off of our floor, thus the un-settling, to prepare for flooding before leaving.  Praise God our preparations were in vain and the power was back on before we got home.  I am not sure I could have dealt with flooding or power outages at this juncture.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I love me a good storm, and was actually bummed that it was as gorgeous as it was in Hickory, but I didn’t mind missing the stress of waiting for the worst of Irene.  We had a splendid time there on many fronts in NC.  Uncle Bub drove to see us, (Leon to be more specific) and boy was he in heaven.  He was full of non-stop chatter the entire time Bub was with us.  It was adorable.  The best was to hear his complete munchkin voice saying “I like your shirt Uncle Dunkle”.  What toddler is aware of that.  Well, I guess ours, and should we be surprised?  I guess not 🙂  His chubby feet have grown  (Leon’s not Uncles. (Wink)) This meant unpacking new shoes for him this a.m. “Do I wook sharp in these mom?”  “These are rearry cool, aren’t they papa?” and so forth all the day long today. During lunch today he turned to Papa and said, “Papa, can you tell me something rearry important?” He is absolutely, endlessly, amazing and wowing us.  At Church in North Carolina once they released the kids, he turns to the congregation and says, “Does any of the other kids want to come with me to play?”  Make note, he is the visitor.  I guess he is a lot like me as a kid, fearless, a socialite and extremely confident.  He is also at the “What’s that for” stage of life.  Conversations will go something like this…”What’s Batman flying for?”. Us, “to get the bad guys”. Him, “what’s he getting the bad guys for?”. Us, “because they are bad”.  Him, “what are they bad for?” Us, “because they did bad things.”  Him, “What did they do bad things for?”.  Us. “They are just bad”. At some point, we calmly, or not so calmly tell him the questioning is over . This is a hard concept for his 2.5 year brain to comprehend.

Our little Sol is an absolute chunk of a monkey and now sitting up.  He is weighing in at 19 lbs., and is pure muscle.  I guess we know how to produce ‘brick’ children.  You would think my arms would be a chiseled work of art carrying him around the entire day, and I might clarify, the entire day.  My whole body should be chiseled by now with my new routine as a single-handed mom of the universe.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.  I have started working out again.  Yuck, and a hallelujah! I was so sore after my first day of working out that I was kind of miserable having to do my run of the mill routines with the kids.  Never the less, I will persevere.  It’s something other than house cleaning I can be working on and I know I will love the results that come with this dedication.

David’s schedule is insane.  And, we are polar opposites.  If you were to separately ask each of us how the first few weeks of school have been and how it has effected our lives, you would hear an entirely different tale.  Here is mine.  He is booked, literally, from the time he wakes up until 11:30 at night, which in turn is more like, 12:30 most nights.  In other words, we don’t really see him other than his slotted lunch break 3 days a week, which last about 45 min to an hour and his dinner breaks from 5-7. Can you spell adjustment?  He is all consumed with school, as he should be and doing an amazing job diving into school head first.  He is a natural at it  in my opinion and I know in no time will be confidently grasping the concepts and material at hand.  It is definitely not for the faint of heart on either side of the coin.  Tackling this with a family is definitely an on-taking.  One day at a time is our motto.  If I look too much further ahead I begin to sink deeply into a great abyss.  I have mostly hard days through out this transition.  This week I had several great days back to back.  It was like a breath fo fresh air.  Finding a local, fantastic coffee shop had to be part of my cure.  The little things in life, right?

Well, I best be going.  Both kids have a poop needing to be changed.  I am thankful it’s our sabbath.  I just got a much needed nap, and woke up wondering if it was morning, a glorious disorientation. But, even on the Sabbath, someone has to change diapers.  It is me.

Love you, Bep

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