I have come to the realization that enduring isn’t something we often get to choose. Endurance is what you are, when you would rather not be. At least that is how it seems to me. I find myself thinking, or saying to David, “I am not sure I can do this today”, yet at the end of the day I have. I looked up the word endurance that is quoted in Hebrews 12:1, and it means patience or steadfast waiting for. This is our daily feat, not always with great patience, though we try. The past few weeks have felt like eons. Just when we thought we were “out in the clear” its worse than we could have imagined. I am not sure my heart has ever felt that kind of angst before. I thought we were going to loose our little Solie. No feeling quite like that. David was amazing. Images of David blowing furiously into Solie’s mouth as he lay limp and blue are frozen in my mind forever. So thankful he is here, with us and that one day soon this will all be over. I’ve also realized that when you think you are alone, you never are. A Dr. was suddenly on the scene right after David got Solie to come back-to. Neither of us knew her. She was checking his pulse, talking with the ambulance team and then showed up in our hospital room. I was astounded that she would come. All the nurses knew her too. “How strange” I thought,” she must work at this hospital”. Then, come to find out, she was THE pediatric doctor on-call that night and just happened to be at Rachel’s graduation party because Rachel is their nanny! God is amazing. Her husband is a pediatric cardiologist and came to read his EKG that night as well. Wow. What an insane night! God IS an ever present help in time of need. Truly he is. We just got back from a follow up appointment with a pediatric doctor and found out Solie has a double ear infection, again. Hopefully, after his third round of antibiotic, he will be pain free and be on the mend for good. For now, it is one day at a time! It’s been a taxing time, very taxing. Soon we will see the light at the end of the tunnel. Until then, we know we stand on ground that is not shakable, though we may be.
Enduring….
Bep
from bep 
my friend! I just read your blog from bottom to top, beginning to end, and you made me cry. Your perspective is…I don’t know, it’s like letters found in an old chest, that give glimpses into the life of an old soul, even though the writer is young. Thanks for sharing your words with us, they’re a gift. I’ll pray for you – and the family, and especially sweet Solie. xo.
Rose, Thanks for your sweet comments. Love you.
Your accounts of God’s strength and faithfulness, and of your raw feelings and struggles are good reminders of His power working through weakness. We will keep praying, one day at a time. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Thank You Victoria.