A letter

147 pages of shoes…

In Chapter Move on May 28, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I have looked through 43 of the 147 pages of summer sandals on Zappos.com so far, to help pass the time. (a dangerous way to pass the time, of course) Praise be to God for smart phones.  So glad I dont’ have my old one with a broken screen.  Who would have thought that we would be spending the last few days holding our precious Solie for hours at a time in a big chair stuffed with pillows every which way?  Not me.  Like I’ve said before, when you think you are at your breaking point, you find out you have some sort of reserve, deep down hidden somewhere.  I guess our reserve is deeper than we thought.  Not sure how people get through life without Jesus.  I told David the other day, If I wasn’t saved before Solie having whooping cough, I sure as heck would get saved now.  With Jesus this is hard enough.  Without him it would be impossible.  Nothing harder on a mother’s heart than seeing their baby so sick. Each coughing fit is as heart wrenching and scary as the last one. Watching your child turn blue, gasping for breath about does you in.  I had no idea just how terrible whooping cough was until now.  The doctor says it’s one of the worst things they see and there isn’t a lot they can do to speed up the process.  They had to change out Solie’s IV because the first one stopped working.  I had a pit in my stomach the few hours building up to it and just had my head down fighting back the tears while they were inserting it into his baby wrist.  What a little trooper he is.  What a little sweetie.  He was awake for a while today smiling and kicking.  Made my heart melt to see those sparkly little eyes all lit up again.  Can’t wait until he can come home.  Can’t wait to lay him down not worried it will send him into a violent coughing fit.  Can’t wait till he doesn’t have clusters of tubes coming out every which way.  But, we will wait.  And while we wait, we will hope.  We have the greatest hope, an amazing physician.  He’s actually the best.  He’s the kind that knows exactly what you need.  He has the perfect touch, that restores, and comforts.  He has the look that sustains.  He is the kind that you can lean on, and that you’re never too heavy for. He’s the kind that wipes your tears, and actually keeps them in a bottle.  He’s the kind that works miracles.  We couldn’t ask for a better one.  Soon this will all be over and we’ll look back stronger than we are now.

Until then…I’ll keep you posted….


P.S. I learned that P.S. stands for “post script” not “personal secret”. Uproarious laughter followed this discovery.  I prefer to think it means “personal secret”. Much more fun that way.

P.P.S. Molly and I are mastering the art of crosswords the past few days…even Sunday’s sometimes.

P.P.P.S.  Leon’s a little out of sorts with his parents suddenly gone all hours of the day, or sleeping. He said to maggie yesterday…”Where is my mother, where is my father?  I need to find them. I am going to the ‘partment’, see you later.” What a dolly.  He was also gushing with “I love you Moms” this morning while grabbing my arm and laying his head on my shoulder. O how I love him.

  1. Bep, I have no words, I just want to cry. My weakness is children that are sick and knowing that your little Sollie is sick breaks my heart. Praying relentlessly for instant healing!
    Your right, we do have secret reserves without even knowing. You are one amazing strong women of God! Bless you!

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